Are Sex and Spirituality like Water and Oil?

I have a long time friend in Germany. He knows about Eckankar, but years ago chose a different path.

But he reads books from Eckankar, and to say the least, he is a friend of Eckankar. Recently we had a short encounter and he mentioned that in the Shariyat-Ki-Sugmad, the main Book of Eckankar, it is mentioned that man shall not become animalistic and dwell in sex to satisfy his/her lust.

Love and sex always had played an important part in my life. But I had felt my mind played a more important part. I was lucky to have my first sexual encounter at a very early age. No, I was not abused, I was probably the one using the other person. But it was also a time where I was a very good christian. Probably not from a moralistic point of view, but in a spiritual sense.

God was part of my life and so was the puberty. But due to my early experience in contrast to my "friends" I did not speculate to much about sexuality but has my mind free for God.

Before I was 15 I was thrown out of the paradise we call faith. It was lunch time at work and we workers gathered, ate our lunch and discussed various things of course woman and also God. One of the older Workmates made a statement which as a consequence made me an atheist. As far as I can see now, out of croup of maybe 10, I was the only one affected. Strangely then also began a long drought in love and sex (about from 15 until 19). Writing this, it occurred to me, that there might be a connection I had not seen earlier.

About 40 years later

Maybe my falling out of faith had made me more critical towards the christian teaching. Maybe because of my strong sexual drive the body hostility of the christian teachings rebuked me. Why would God give me "Lust" if it was a sin.
Correction: Why would God give me a sexual drive if it was not to be used. Even Eckankar says that a seeker should not indulge in lust! For me Lust is satisfying my own desires. And if my desires control me I am addicted. 

Maybe it is not really wrong to say that I had an addiction to love. But when I hear the word Lust, I become uneasy. Is it still lust if my desire is not to satisfy my desire but that of my partner? Is it not an act of love to hold my satisfaction back to allow her to have hers?

At the end of my sexual prime not only my lust declined but also my desire to get involved, in love. In German there is a green joke

A man basically is surprised twice in his  life: 

The first time when when he cannot perform a second time

and the second time he is surprised when he cannot perform the first time.

With the declining sexual desire I observed a new freedom. It was a shocking experience. I always had thought I am a spiritual being (not a moralistic one), but now with the lessened desire I had a choice! Did I not have it before?

Yes, I could chose if I go after her or not, but I had no choice to find her attractive (fairly independent from her looks).

Do I enjoy this "new "freedom?

Of course I do, but I also miss the desire.

So the Church is right to say lust is bad? Body hostility is good?

I do not think so!

God gave us the hormone level we have to fight with, so it is good. 

If it declines in later age we are free to focus on other things. We can look back on our life and learn from it, or we can prepare to go into the other world and are not so much distracted my the hormonal needs.

I like to think that the churches favor a sex free life to control us via guilt. But originally before, when the church was a body of love, not one of power,  it meant the freedom from sex, older men and woman experience. They did not know that we are under hormonal control. And the more sex we have the lower our hormonal level, or without sex and masturbation the hormonal level rises and more and more controls us. The more we become less ourselves".

So, if I am right, if the churches asks us to refrain from sex, they ask us to more and more become subject to our hormones.

But what if the hormones are the real evil? 

Nice line of thought! I invite you to follow it!

Overcoming doubts and fears

The theme for the Eckankar Worship Service in June 2013 is Overcoming Doubts and Fears. Sri Harold Klemp the spiritual Leader of Eckankar states that we reach points in our life - also in our spiritual life - where we no longer are happy with the situation we are in. It is like an inner force that pressures us to move on, even to leave out comfort zones.
Many of us are looking for a sign of God, but to often we look outside us, but this feeling of no longer being at the right place, this wondering if there is something else out there for us this is a sign of God too.
But to move on also comes along with the feelings we call fear and doubt.
It is funny in a way. The most static and static is not the proper word, the most common force is something we do not like - CHANGE. And the older we get in this bodies, the less we like it. Even if we are in a situation which is not so nice like a bad marriage, prison, sickness, poorness we do not like change. In psychology it is a known fact that many people rather suffer than change. And we also know the circumstance when we really want a betterment in what we are in at the present time.
We want change without changing.
Do you agree, that in a way it is strange. There is God saying "Come to me", but the moment we want to take action to follow ITS command, there is doubt and fear to hold us back. Why would God do this to us?
Is God not serious?
What if God is serious?

Do you know sheeps and goats? Two very similar animals and yet so different. A goat is curious looking around, even climbing trees, whereas a sheep has its head down grazing and basically following the sheep in front.
Let me ask you a question you probably dared to raise yourself.
"Why did God create you?" and "Why does IT put you through all this hardship?"
Eckankar states the we (Soul) exists because God loves us. I can imagine God as a crazy scientist, but in a way that does not fit the picture I like to have of my creator. So lets assume Eckankar is right.
So why does God put fear and doubt in our way if we WANT to follow this inner urge to go home to God.
You agree it holds us back, diba?
Did you ever watch a baby start to walk? Gravity makes is fall on its butt again and again, sometimes it falls on its face and gets hurt. But up to now I never heard of a baby that gave up learning to walk! We are like a baby on our way to God. Fear is the gravity that makes us fall again and again.

Sometimes we try to walk as a Catholic, some times as Buddhist, sometimes as Protestant and other times as Muslim. And again and again we land on our butt. After we tried it for a number of lifetimes as a Christian we may try Islam or Buddhism we reach a state where doubt makes us wonder if it is right to try to walk, but again this inner urge makes us want to stand up.

For me this inner urge in a way is the love of GOD or this force that wants us to be to "go home".
 I am an Eckist, because I follow this inner urge.  And in a way I am a goat looking around and even climbing trees. Am I not afraid,  you may ask?
I am!
But fear has made me so strong that I can win over it, or at least put it aside (for the time being).
What about doubts. Do I have doubts? I have every now and then, at least. But does it hold me back?
NO!
You see the gift of conquering fear is that you stop being rules by fear. Then and only then does fear become a choice!

"After earth" some thoughts about Scientology and conquering fear

Theatrical release

A few weeks I was watching a movie. I like to be early - not only in the movies- and could enjoy the trailers. There was one looking like a SiFi with Will Smith and his son. The only thing I remembered were great pictures and the sentence: "Danger is real - fear is a choice". In a country where fear is rampant, this is quite a statement.
I also like it from a personal point of view. Fear and his twin bother worry destroy lives or at least the joy of living. Actually I consider the "get rid of fears" as a primary spiritual task, if one want to return home to God. I know in the Bible it seems as if God wants sheeps, followers not asking, and for sure not rebellious. But if you look at the stories in the Bible, the actors oppose the leaders and Jesus himself was a rebel, a freedom fighter which by now would be called a terrorist. If ever you read the Bible, you might be able to distinguish  what God wants and what the church wants. I am sure God does not want fearful beings without the will to find their own way back to the heavens.
So I was really looking forwards to see this movie.
About a week before it was shown in the theaters here, to my surprise a discussion started that the film was carrying (secretly) the teachings of Scientology.
When I read the headline in the Spiegel, a German weekly news magazine, I found it stupid. As if conquering fear would be the sole job of Scientology. I admit this was a premature thought, because I had it before I had read the article.
Many years back I had attended two free weekend from Scientology and had made a test. I have to admit I never had any bad experience with them. But what they taught seemed not be a big advancement for me, so I let Scientology be.
It always seemed to me that letting others be is one of the first step on advancing spiritually. But the first step also might be the most scary. Scary - fear. Danger is real - fear is a choice
Be it a film to carry the messages from the Scientology or not, I was sure I would watch it.
And watch I did. After Earth was in the Theaters on Thursday and on Friday I was in the theater.

In short I was so disappointed. But to be honest I really liked the scenes when the cadet faced his fears and conquered it. As was shown in the movie, it is no a one time thing like loosing the virginity and then it is gone for good. Fear is like hunger, it comes again and again and has to be conquered daily.

The next day one of my text-friends texted me that she was watching the movie and really wanted more of it. But she is young and maybe she would like a "father" who gives advice and watches over her.
After Earth for me is not a great film. But maybe it is a film for you to start your spiritual journey by starting to conquer your fear. A film who makes you feel that you too can face your fears and conquer it.

If there is reincarnation,why do we forget our former lives?.

Not long ago I was  asked: "If there is reincarnation (being born again), why do we not remember it?" A good question. Let me ask you:"Would you want to remember?"
I do not know how old you you are. But I guess at least 20 years. 20 years makes 7300 days,if you are 40 about 15 000 day. How many days do you remember?  Lets look only at your birthdays. This are special days, but I assume you do not recall all of them!
With this 7000 days there were very special days, day you were very happy and days you were very very sad.
How many can you remember? A hand full? 10 or even 15? Not that they are important anymore, they are gone! We forget them, most of them. But we do not forget the lessens, not the questions they bring us, to make us look for the answers.
If I look at my life, I had a few life changing experiences. No, nothing dramatic.
In my first part I was a normal German becoming an electrician. Then as it was custom by then in Germany I was requested to join the German volunteer army. I did for a short time and then became a legal conscientious objector (Kriegsdienstverweigerer). There I was confronted with a new set of people and a new set ideas and new ways of living. I did some schooling and then became a member of the German Volunteer service. I was sent to Africa for 2 years and there I had a new set of people and of ideas again.
I like to think that each step build on the previous one. But when I cam back from Africa, it was not a clean cut as it has been from the electrician to the Conscientious Objector. I kept the friends and  acquaintances form my time as a Contentious Objector.
I went to university (I was already 27 when I started) where again I met a new set of people but now I did not mingle much. They all were much younger and I had a certain goal (I wanted to go back to Africa and build a farm together with am guy from Austria I had met there). By then I still was an atheist, but had started to look for a (different/real) meaning of life (again). You could say I was looking for God again whom I had lost at the start as an apprentice for the electrician craftsman ship.

I had left my parents place when I was 18 and only occasional went back there - mostly for family celebrations. During one of this occasions  it was the Eulogius Fest, a procession with horses. As a boy this had been a very special day, but now I was there as a spectator. Like hundreds of others I stood at the roadside occasionally changing the position. It was a sunny day I think second Sunday of June, so it was fairly warm and I looked for a place not so exposed to the sun.
There in the half shade, I was addressed by a stranger. A stranger? Well to me. It turned our that he was my colleague and fellow apprentice when we became electricians. We had worked together for 3 and a half years and also spend some of our spare time together, but I could not recognize him. Of course I did not show!
It was a shocking experience. I was studying by then, so my memory was fairly good, but this man, this former friend, was erased from my memory?
Even now, I remember the occasion but I do not remember him. I mean if I would meet him in the streets I would not recognize him!
Maybe because we had no special experiences together. No fights I recall and no special highlights. Maybe he was like a normal sunny day in my life, in our lives.
If this can happen in one life time, what more so if we die and reincarnate in a different body? What if we change race and sex?
But there is more to it!
If we extend out question "Why" and look at the spiritual side of life, we may find another piece of the puzzle.
Again if you look back at your life. What come to mind first? A happy experience  and second a bad one? Or is it vice verse? From the 10 days or events you remember how many are happy and how many are sad occasions?
And to go a step further, which of the 10 events had a bigger influence on your live?
Eckankar teaches that we are now at the peak of our spiritual development, even if we are a beggar or a criminal in the outer life. Now if you dwell in the esoteric communities or New Age groups you find a lot of people claiming to have been Jesus or saints,  kings or heroes.  I do not say it is not true, but I like to ask you how many saints, heroes or Jesuses do you know? I never heard a person claim he or she was a beggar or criminal! This is the hard side folks!
Before you can enter the realm of the primal force, no matter of you call it God, Allah or Sugmad you have to look a your dark side too.
If we look at all religions, and Eckankar is not difference here, we learn that God is almighty all encompassing - but the negative force is not part of it!
But this leads to a new set of questions, so lets go back to you and me and the HERE and NOW!
We do not like to have a dark side. We ignore it if we can, or keep it to ourselves if possible, we even like to forget it.
Now if we try to forget the bad things we did or want to do in this lifetime, how much do you think we shut this off when we reincarnate?
Btw. if you want to start to recall some of your former life times or if bad dreams hunt you, Eckankar offers a number of exercises to to put the Vail aside.

What is a spiritual life?

Is this an easy question? What actually is the meaning of "Spiritual". I have a very simple definition, but because I like to write not only out of my head, but something based of fact, what people can comprehend, I went to Wikipedia and to the Wiktionary. I grew up in a post war German which was basically free of English (at least for the average people). By browsing the Wiktionary looking for the word Spiritual I came across the religious songs basically of black American making. I am sure at least the last 10 years, probably longer, I had completely forgotten about it.
It was somehow an amazing experience. It was like browsing an old photo album and you find a picture that once meant a lot, but you had forgotten about it.
For many years I had observes it was a rare word. Then some groups like Eckankar  and others used it and more and more the word found its way back into the main stream and actually - on my impression - replaced the word religion/religious.
Let me give you my definition of spiritual: Spiritual refers to the invisible side of life, the force behind it.
For me it is a force maybe only a matrix that exists in the lives of every person, but at the same time is very personal and differs from person to person. I like to think that this spiritual matrix is based on the individual karma.

You might say say: Well, nice " And?"
Did you ever wonder why certain things in your life did not turn out as planned? Did you ever feel that you had to do a certain action, or maybe say a certain word, but you could not? Like you want to apologize to a certain person or say "I love you" to another? Live changing moment, but somehow, something held you back. Made you to stay mute, made you be an observer of an action and at the same time a puppet on the strings?
[Did you ever have such a moment? Where you were actor and observer? If so, did you ever wonder how it could be? ]
Maybe, maybe it would be sufficient to use the term karma. But maybe I am not good enough with words. Actually while writing this, I also do a lot of thinking. And this writing process now is at least as much for me it it might be for you.
I cherished the Term "Spiritual" and now in the first step I had to broaden its meaning and now, only minutes later, by linking it directly with karma, almost make it obsolete.
On one side, this makes me a little sad, like loosing something precious, but from a spiritual point of view I also see that now I can let go of something I no longer need on my journey home to God, something I have outgrown.
Maybe you too have outgrown words or images, once precious to you, but now only are a burden, often an invisible one, on your journey home to God.

We get what we are ready to receive

Sorry no fantastic adventures lately. Should I be sad?
Well it makes me wonder when I have an active cycle with numerous oob experiences which are  followed by a calm time.
But lets face it, at least we souls in a body closer to replacement than others, especially people who work in a calmer and not to hectic environment, we feel exhausted if we travel to a big town and have lots of people and noise around us. We feel exhausted after the journey. For sure I do, and I even would call myself a city dweller.
So, when I come home in the evening, I normally go to bed soon and sleep like a log.
So comparing it to my inner experience, it can be more or less the same, after an activity a rest period is normal.
If you think that there is no spiritual growth during this rest periods you might overlook the experiences that are not so dramatic.
I liked it when Sri Harold Klemp made me aware that life runs in cyles. Mine does and at time the cyles are not to long, sometimes especially the ones I do not fancy to much, seem to last far to long.
Like many of you out there, I am trained to use my creativity. Or to use different words, not many of this cycles are cycles of abundance in money.

As you know I live in the Philippines which has very favorable conditions for loitering and now is considered a developing country (some time back it was one of the tiger states, a group of fast growing economies in South east Asia)
I spend most of my life in Germany and hence seeing poverty still attracts my attention. I mean I think about.
The spiritual world are not black and white only (neither is this world) meaning what I write here is only one of the many facets.
It is easier to be poor than to be rich (remember you are born into a rich or a poor family. And as an Eckist  better as Soul, we have a saying in it.) So why are so many people born poor?
Because it is easier!
You think there is not enough wealth for all who are poor?
As soul we are the ultimate creators, hence we could create a world full of economies like Germany, Swiss, Singapore or even Monaco.
Many countries on this planet have a lottery like 6 out of 49 or similar, which basically every week creates a millionaire. If you look at the lucky winners after some time, a huge percentage no longer has money.
Now I am at the second point I want to stress:
We only can have what we are ready to receive or perceive?
I am poor because I am not ready to accept the riches!
If you are one of this people who urgently need money, ask yourself: What do I miss, to have what I need!?
I remember years back me and my neighbor were walking through the spring. He with his girlfriend, I with mine. I was a freelancer, he was an artist, all four of us was a certain shortage in common. I remember how he and his girlfriend were discussing how to imagine to have riches. Where are the hinges, what are the tricks, How can you truly think you are rich if you do not even have money to buy food. Not a single moment did we think that WE ARE THE PROBLEM. It is not God who is not willing to give us, it is US who are not ready to receive.

Is heaven real? (Part II)

From my last blog I like the idea that heaven and even God evolves, as we do here on earth.
We could play the same game as last week and this week talk about fashion. I am willing to bet that the fabrics we use today are by far more comfortable to wear that the stuff they had 2000 years ago, even the royals had no briefs or boxer shorts but had to expose their private parts to the coarse fabric.
But I promised to write about heaven in a more personal way.
If you have read one of the Holy books you know that God used dreams to address ITS spokespersons. At least about Muhammad is said that Allah (God) lifted him up. Even Jesus in the end ascended. That means - to say the least - Heaven must be out there somewhere.
It is a soothing idea!
Let me ask you a question: Do you dream? Science found out, that everybody is dreaming! So the problem is not the dreaming as such, but the recalling of a dream.
Let me ask you another question:  Did you ever dream  “crazy stuff" like flying, walking through walls or other things we out here in the “real” world would consider strange or impossible?
Don't think you are crazy if you do or did! 
For quite some time I walked through walls and regularly in the middle of the wall or at the other side I woke up because my mind from the “real” world (maybe it was the censor) interfered and said “not possible!”.
You know there are vivid dreams, dreams when we are aware, that we are dreaming. But before you become a vivid dreamer you might have a dream which was so real so intensely real that even the reality outside here the “real” world seems vague.
Chances are that no priest, teacher or even scientist gave you an answer that really satisfied you.
Let me tell you a little story:
Some years back I was sick. I had an upset stomach and it hurt badly. To make things worse it was summer and terribly hot. For hours I lay on my bed - non stop suffering. Trying to watch TV or read to take my awareness away from the pain were in vain. I was wondering why the pain did not lessen. Then I heard my neighbor and his  beautiful wife start a fight. It was a heated argument that lasted for quite some time, but like all quarrels ended. And with the end of the quarrel my attention slipped back into my body. Actually I had not realized that I was out of my body. I was listening so intensely to the quarrel, that I was not aware of myself. But this happen to you as well, I am sure, when you watch a film or when you forget to eat your meal! Where are you, when you forget “yourself”? Or to go back to dreams:
Who is the one running around in the dream world, or who is the one laying in bed?
Do you have an answer?
I have!
But it is not scientifically proven, or even provable.
I call it a working hypothesis. Meaning I use it as an assumption until I can proof it wrong!
For me I - or any dreamer with this intense experience - visits a heaven of God!
If I have such a “dream” it changes me! This is what I expect from such an encounter.
Let me summarize it in a few different words:
If something is more intense than the real live and if it changes me in my daily life even, I am not shy to admit that I had a divine encounter, at least not as long as as it makes me a better being and not as long as no one proves me wrong or insane!

Remember the bible says that the way to heaven is a small and a winded road. So do not expect to be close to heaven as long as you are with crowds on a smooth paved highway.
Watch out for a sign like “detour” or even a path almost unrecognizable and follow your intuition.

And if your family and friends consider you strange and if your pastor has no words for your experiences maybe you already are on a "detour" from the paved highway to heaven.