Spirituality and Vulnerability

I read an interesting blog  (Ethics for doing Good) which inspired me to write this:

I do not think God makes mistakes, but this would be bad for God (no mistakes means no learning means no growth). Let me correct myself: "God makes no mistakes in the area we humans can understand."

Vulnerability has to do with self-esteem and how I perceive the others especially the offender. If a little child shouts the worst insult at me most likely I will not feel insulted, but if the president in a kind voice would say:"Oigen, I thought you could do better!" I might not be able to sleep for a night or two. I assume you get my point. But for me the outside is not important, because I cannot control it. Don’t get me wrong, the outside is important not not in connection WITH "my life" but rather as a mirror OF my life. What I mean is that I live basically in my (inner) world and the outer world is an indication of what I have to attend to and what I have achieved.

If I am angered by my neighbor, he behaves in a way which creates a resonance in my inner. If it is anger for example, it is something I have to attend to, or if it is something I like, it shows me what I have achieved. And for your brainies out there this resonances changes. What gives me comfort now (meeting with drinking bodies) might make me sick at a later state of my development.

Years back, when it was time to go to the Philippines, God lured me into it by placing love on my path. We westerners tend to follow our heart, but because I am not a heart person rather a mind person, I also needed an argument to follow my hear. I got the argument and then followed my heart.

In a way which I did not realize at first, it was like being taken out from one petri dish and placed into a different one. From one of the leading countries of the world and time (Germany 2005) I was placed in a location with fast differences.

Whatever I will write might sound judgmental, but this is not my intention. If I apply the mirror technique described earlier, I have to start crying. But then things we do not see, not necessarily do not exist. It is a complicated sentence, but I like it. What I like less is the realization I just had.

I used to apply the mirror technique on specific issues like lets say punctuality, which is a big issue here too, but I was referring to the big picture. Hmmm judgmental again. Do I know if God prefers a certain petri dish (like Germany/US) or 3rd world countries like the Philippines? I am engraved with the German way of life, society, work and the like and hence the Philippine way in a way is the one I compare it too and it falls short of course. Now you could say "Why not go back?" I think that is is not the question and not the point. I am here for a certain reason, and I have to fulfill a certain task. I mean I need a realization, need to learn what I came here for!

Maybe I am a slow learner.

When I started to write I had a different intention of the outcome. I wanted to write for you but ended up writing for me.

So what about this vulnerability?

I think on a physical level we all are vulnerable. What happens if we are hurt? In a way the other shows us our limits. Is that bad? I had an interesting realization this week and it is connected to what we are talking about here: "In our comfort zone we grow fat, if we leave it, we grow personality". 

So why are we hurt if someone tells us the truth?

Thinking about it shows me two options: 1: My ego tells me "I am better!" and my ego feels falsely accused or 2: I did not give my best. If I give my best it was all I could do, so even if the president is kind with his words, he is wrong. And let's be honest, deep inside we "know" the truth and how often we fall short of our best - but hope for the best.

And what is the connection between spirituality and vulnerability?

For me spiritual does not mean doing good in a sense of charity, of giving. Spirituality means living an inner life parallel to the our life or at least of being aware of the inner side of life which in the out often mean letting the others be where and what they are just now.  And this at least at the beginning of the journey means being more vulnerable.

The ego learns to make itself strong or makes us to feel strong and with this strength the outer world loses it challenge and we evolve to become a spiritual being, a spiritual baby. And babies are very vulnerable!

So the vulnerability Callaghan speaks of in his blog is a sign of mankind evolving? Yes!

To become more spiritual?

I am not sure. In the last century Sri Harold Klemp, the leader of Eckankar talked about that mankind is at the brink of evolving to the next level. A few years later USSR went down history lane, war started in former Yugoslavia and other places all over the world then even the war against terrorism started (which was - and still is - an attempt to instill fear into our hearts and minds).  I do not think mankind as a whole evolved. I see it rather like in a chemical reaction. You add a substance to a solution and the more you ad the closer you come to a saturation point where the reaction starts. Or you ad the base substance and the system moves away from the saturation point.

For me this is not good or bad. It simply IS.

I think God infused the base substance and we moved away from the saturation point.

What does that mean for you or me, for those on a spiritual adventure?

Nothing!

Maybe it is even good. Basically nothing changed. IF mankind would have evolved, a lot of things would have changed. Imagine the driving force no longer would be fear but reason. Imagine you are not hurt if someone insults you but you stop and think "Why does he say that?" Or "What is God telling me through this person?"

You might even think you have reached the end of your journey! Richard Bach the author of Jonathan Livingston Seagull and Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah (1977), made me realize the world is perfect as it is (like the field for a ball game) and Eckankar made me realize God loves us so much IT allows us to make the same mistake again and again until we are no longer vulnerable and start learning.