Do you have a vison for your life?

I am not even sure how it happened! I was reading an article in Der Spiegel about journalism, journalists, Snowdon and the end of democracy.
I had known about the government spying on its citizens,because a few years ago, as a translator, I had translated some manuals. And here in the Philippines the TV series "Person of interest" is shown. What really shocked me was the extend by which we are spied on.  And a question that never was answered, not even asked, was/is "Whom do they think they protect" with millions or even billions of our (taxpayers) money?
Then I read about an e-Store builder, because one of my options is to have my own online store.
Maybe it adds that the last few days I had thought or better wondered why I seem to have problems to find the proper people to work together with.
Now I also remember when I went to bed last night I was thinking about my leader qualities and my "lack" of follower qualities.
Yes, then it happened, like a flash of lightning it hit me"I only plan my future and live it"
I live my live like an employee. No, this is not to belittle employees, it is more the mechanism I want to point out: I plan my future, I set goals, and milestones and start working to realizes it. At the milestones I stop and check, adjust means and direction. And very often I reach my set goal.
Yes sometimes I do not. But I never fail, because I always learn.
This had made me content and no matter if I was in an up or a down part of the live cycles I knew I do well.
Do you see what I mean? I have no vision to follow!
You may wonder what makes the difference some call it a goal others call it a vision.
I see a huge difference!
A goal is something you know, see or have heard about.
A vision is something that only exists in the other worlds and you started to make it come true in this world too. The Apple founder Steve Jobs was a visionary!

Yes, not everybody can be a Steve Jobs. And if you live an ordinary live a goal might suit you well and even put you in the top section of mankind, because most struggle day to day to "survive".
What if this is the problem?
What if we struggle so much
because we do not have a vision?
I am not talking about hard times, even visionaries have them (Jobs for example had cancer, as you know). What I mean is most of us are like soldiers in a medieval battle, we see the enemy closing in on use, swords threatening us and step by step we advance or move back wards, we get wounded and continue to fight.
If we have a vision, we do not only see the enemy in front of us, we know what we fight for and more like the commander on his hill, we see the battle as a whole!

Maybe you should stop for a moment and check if you have a plan for your life and your family and probably even your business. And if you follow a religious or spiritual path, kindly do not exclude it!

Is founding a new business a new andventure?

Having the tendency to be a loner, I had kept my spiritual life separated from my every day life. But still I was quite active in our local Eckankar group.  Are you doing the same? Then, years back another member of Eckankar who was not so active because he had bought a house and needed to pay the mortgage (work harder) in a discussion asked exactly the same question: "Do you think it is less spiritual to be fully involved in life?"
About a month ago I joined CashUnite and emerging worldwide MLM company. Currently the known Product is a MultiMediaSuite. The Company is still in pre-launch which may give me a head start, but if the announcement are all hot air, I will have a painful landing in reality. Do you know why I joined CashUnite? Because I saw the potential of the MultiMediaSuite. But I am also a dreamer! I like to see the world and its part very idealized - I am a loving optimist. Do not get me wrong. Like every human I have my dark moments. Moments when he dark forces of fear and doubt attack me, when the routine of daily life  lowers my guards and when the soft skin of a bosom steals the memory of real life and lulls me into the wish to stay there and all will be fine. Or when worries for money, health or family (sometimes even mankind) cut my eagle wings and try to confine me to a chicken pen.
And even when my eagle feet scratch ground at night I am back to the sky and be what I am - a free Soul. And in the morning when live catches up in the back of my mind lingers the memory of being free and knowing I CAN DO IT.
Then back to CashUnite and the recruiting the waves of daily stupidity force me to raise my guard. But life can be cruel wave by wave it crashed into my defense an often before lunch my defense is down, overloaded, to weak. So the only thing which is left is to limp back into the chicken pen and with discipline finish the task of the day.
But I am and eagle, I am Soul and no longer need the bars to protect me from life. When I feel the waves sucking out my feathers, driving me back into the chicken pen I remember my life line: Love even if the waves crash in me like a Kingfisher (susulbot in tgl) I emerge and rise again.
Cashunite is not only an adventure for me, it is a spiritual training ground.
I invite you to join me in this journey. CashUnite is new and it is only online, but if you prefer established companies Amway or Nuskin it will work as well.
Yes I hope the MultiMediaSuite will be a success because I need the money. But it is only money, but the experience independent of the outcome will last! SO money would be nice and hopefully comes, but the ways is the goal!
Come join, lets start this adventure (it is worldwide)

Goal setting in the inner and the outer

More than half a life time back I came to Eckankar. At first the goal was clear I wanted to become a HI, an Higher Initiate. When I finally reached that goal my live changed, which was to be expected - in the inner and the outer. It took me about 6 month to master the mayor changes and deal with it in the inner. And then?
Yes!
And then I realized I had no more goal!
You might think "And? What is the problem?"
You define a new goal!
 I agree and that is easy as long as you can imagine what is within your reach.
Imagine you die, reach the pearly gates and St. Peter asks you what you want to do the next million of years. If you do not know what the heaven really is, it is difficult to image what to go, where to go.

About 2 month ago a long term contact ended and I was a freelancer again (without regular income) and about 1 month aho I came across Cashunite. Gathering the available information together with my knowledge if the net, I immediately saw a huge potential for me and for others. So I decided to go for it and as a side effect help others.
As a spiritual being in a certain situation I tend to see something for me to learn and something to give. For a beggar a coin might be worth much more than a friendly or wise word.
Well, I have more wisdom to share than coins.

Now with Cashunite I could do both. If you know the Philippines you know that beside miles and miles of endless empty beaches and a beautiful landscape, there are also lots and lots of social problems. What I referring too is that schooling/eduction is expensive and that there is no divorce law. So many women are dumped by there husbands, together with their children.
Being an online worker I also do a lot of chatting and meet a lot of those women.
There is hardly a week I am not asked if I have work for them. With Cashunite I thought I have.
I admit I am a dreamer, a careful dreamer. Cashunite, like many other Internet businesses promisses a lot. So not to give false hope I was thinking up what to do if Cashunite did not work out. With this in mind I started to promote and offer this chance to the dumped mothers and ex-wives.
I had expected that they more than willingly would grab this opportunity.
I was wrong.
And I had problems understanding!
But with questioning the ones I knew from chatting I realized most of them had a fairly close horizon. It is like  living in a small valley. What I was offering them was behind their horizon and hardly imaginable. Like I was when I finally had reached my first spiritual goal in Eckankar. To make things worse, things we do not know create a feeling of uncertainty and fear. But fear is something we try to avoid instead of confront.
So here I was with a solution to their problem. In a way this is a frustrating situation.
But frustration is not a solution! They could not imagine and hence could not set it as a  goal!
Then what is the solution?

Well, as Richard Bach says in his book "Illusions - the adventure of a reluctant Messiah" we are looking for problems because we want the gifts hidden in the solution.
One of my gifts is to realize that this outer experience is a reflection of something inner I go through.
And the solution for these women and their children?
That is NOT my problem! Hence my solution would deprive them from the gifts they learn by solving their problem?
So I am an egoist?
It may seem so, but I think it takes more love to let people do what they need to do for themselves than to insist on a solution which is not theirs.
I would not be surprised if this is the reason why so many development projects fail.

I already learned a lot by joining Cashunite. I invite you to join me in this adventure - no matter where in the world you are! It can solve your financial problems, but even if not you know often walking the way is what matters, not (only) reaching the goal.

Spirituality and Vulnerability

I read an interesting blog  (Ethics for doing Good) which inspired me to write this:

I do not think God makes mistakes, but this would be bad for God (no mistakes means no learning means no growth). Let me correct myself: "God makes no mistakes in the area we humans can understand."

Vulnerability has to do with self-esteem and how I perceive the others especially the offender. If a little child shouts the worst insult at me most likely I will not feel insulted, but if the president in a kind voice would say:"Oigen, I thought you could do better!" I might not be able to sleep for a night or two. I assume you get my point. But for me the outside is not important, because I cannot control it. Don’t get me wrong, the outside is important not not in connection WITH "my life" but rather as a mirror OF my life. What I mean is that I live basically in my (inner) world and the outer world is an indication of what I have to attend to and what I have achieved.

If I am angered by my neighbor, he behaves in a way which creates a resonance in my inner. If it is anger for example, it is something I have to attend to, or if it is something I like, it shows me what I have achieved. And for your brainies out there this resonances changes. What gives me comfort now (meeting with drinking bodies) might make me sick at a later state of my development.

Years back, when it was time to go to the Philippines, God lured me into it by placing love on my path. We westerners tend to follow our heart, but because I am not a heart person rather a mind person, I also needed an argument to follow my hear. I got the argument and then followed my heart.

In a way which I did not realize at first, it was like being taken out from one petri dish and placed into a different one. From one of the leading countries of the world and time (Germany 2005) I was placed in a location with fast differences.

Whatever I will write might sound judgmental, but this is not my intention. If I apply the mirror technique described earlier, I have to start crying. But then things we do not see, not necessarily do not exist. It is a complicated sentence, but I like it. What I like less is the realization I just had.

I used to apply the mirror technique on specific issues like lets say punctuality, which is a big issue here too, but I was referring to the big picture. Hmmm judgmental again. Do I know if God prefers a certain petri dish (like Germany/US) or 3rd world countries like the Philippines? I am engraved with the German way of life, society, work and the like and hence the Philippine way in a way is the one I compare it too and it falls short of course. Now you could say "Why not go back?" I think that is is not the question and not the point. I am here for a certain reason, and I have to fulfill a certain task. I mean I need a realization, need to learn what I came here for!

Maybe I am a slow learner.

When I started to write I had a different intention of the outcome. I wanted to write for you but ended up writing for me.

So what about this vulnerability?

I think on a physical level we all are vulnerable. What happens if we are hurt? In a way the other shows us our limits. Is that bad? I had an interesting realization this week and it is connected to what we are talking about here: "In our comfort zone we grow fat, if we leave it, we grow personality". 

So why are we hurt if someone tells us the truth?

Thinking about it shows me two options: 1: My ego tells me "I am better!" and my ego feels falsely accused or 2: I did not give my best. If I give my best it was all I could do, so even if the president is kind with his words, he is wrong. And let's be honest, deep inside we "know" the truth and how often we fall short of our best - but hope for the best.

And what is the connection between spirituality and vulnerability?

For me spiritual does not mean doing good in a sense of charity, of giving. Spirituality means living an inner life parallel to the our life or at least of being aware of the inner side of life which in the out often mean letting the others be where and what they are just now.  And this at least at the beginning of the journey means being more vulnerable.

The ego learns to make itself strong or makes us to feel strong and with this strength the outer world loses it challenge and we evolve to become a spiritual being, a spiritual baby. And babies are very vulnerable!

So the vulnerability Callaghan speaks of in his blog is a sign of mankind evolving? Yes!

To become more spiritual?

I am not sure. In the last century Sri Harold Klemp, the leader of Eckankar talked about that mankind is at the brink of evolving to the next level. A few years later USSR went down history lane, war started in former Yugoslavia and other places all over the world then even the war against terrorism started (which was - and still is - an attempt to instill fear into our hearts and minds).  I do not think mankind as a whole evolved. I see it rather like in a chemical reaction. You add a substance to a solution and the more you ad the closer you come to a saturation point where the reaction starts. Or you ad the base substance and the system moves away from the saturation point.

For me this is not good or bad. It simply IS.

I think God infused the base substance and we moved away from the saturation point.

What does that mean for you or me, for those on a spiritual adventure?

Nothing!

Maybe it is even good. Basically nothing changed. IF mankind would have evolved, a lot of things would have changed. Imagine the driving force no longer would be fear but reason. Imagine you are not hurt if someone insults you but you stop and think "Why does he say that?" Or "What is God telling me through this person?"

You might even think you have reached the end of your journey! Richard Bach the author of Jonathan Livingston Seagull and Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah (1977), made me realize the world is perfect as it is (like the field for a ball game) and Eckankar made me realize God loves us so much IT allows us to make the same mistake again and again until we are no longer vulnerable and start learning.

Are Sex and Spirituality like Water and Oil?

I have a long time friend in Germany. He knows about Eckankar, but years ago chose a different path.

But he reads books from Eckankar, and to say the least, he is a friend of Eckankar. Recently we had a short encounter and he mentioned that in the Shariyat-Ki-Sugmad, the main Book of Eckankar, it is mentioned that man shall not become animalistic and dwell in sex to satisfy his/her lust.

Love and sex always had played an important part in my life. But I had felt my mind played a more important part. I was lucky to have my first sexual encounter at a very early age. No, I was not abused, I was probably the one using the other person. But it was also a time where I was a very good christian. Probably not from a moralistic point of view, but in a spiritual sense.

God was part of my life and so was the puberty. But due to my early experience in contrast to my "friends" I did not speculate to much about sexuality but has my mind free for God.

Before I was 15 I was thrown out of the paradise we call faith. It was lunch time at work and we workers gathered, ate our lunch and discussed various things of course woman and also God. One of the older Workmates made a statement which as a consequence made me an atheist. As far as I can see now, out of croup of maybe 10, I was the only one affected. Strangely then also began a long drought in love and sex (about from 15 until 19). Writing this, it occurred to me, that there might be a connection I had not seen earlier.

About 40 years later

Maybe my falling out of faith had made me more critical towards the christian teaching. Maybe because of my strong sexual drive the body hostility of the christian teachings rebuked me. Why would God give me "Lust" if it was a sin.
Correction: Why would God give me a sexual drive if it was not to be used. Even Eckankar says that a seeker should not indulge in lust! For me Lust is satisfying my own desires. And if my desires control me I am addicted. 

Maybe it is not really wrong to say that I had an addiction to love. But when I hear the word Lust, I become uneasy. Is it still lust if my desire is not to satisfy my desire but that of my partner? Is it not an act of love to hold my satisfaction back to allow her to have hers?

At the end of my sexual prime not only my lust declined but also my desire to get involved, in love. In German there is a green joke

A man basically is surprised twice in his  life: 

The first time when when he cannot perform a second time

and the second time he is surprised when he cannot perform the first time.

With the declining sexual desire I observed a new freedom. It was a shocking experience. I always had thought I am a spiritual being (not a moralistic one), but now with the lessened desire I had a choice! Did I not have it before?

Yes, I could chose if I go after her or not, but I had no choice to find her attractive (fairly independent from her looks).

Do I enjoy this "new "freedom?

Of course I do, but I also miss the desire.

So the Church is right to say lust is bad? Body hostility is good?

I do not think so!

God gave us the hormone level we have to fight with, so it is good. 

If it declines in later age we are free to focus on other things. We can look back on our life and learn from it, or we can prepare to go into the other world and are not so much distracted my the hormonal needs.

I like to think that the churches favor a sex free life to control us via guilt. But originally before, when the church was a body of love, not one of power,  it meant the freedom from sex, older men and woman experience. They did not know that we are under hormonal control. And the more sex we have the lower our hormonal level, or without sex and masturbation the hormonal level rises and more and more controls us. The more we become less ourselves".

So, if I am right, if the churches asks us to refrain from sex, they ask us to more and more become subject to our hormones.

But what if the hormones are the real evil? 

Nice line of thought! I invite you to follow it!

Overcoming doubts and fears

The theme for the Eckankar Worship Service in June 2013 is Overcoming Doubts and Fears. Sri Harold Klemp the spiritual Leader of Eckankar states that we reach points in our life - also in our spiritual life - where we no longer are happy with the situation we are in. It is like an inner force that pressures us to move on, even to leave out comfort zones.
Many of us are looking for a sign of God, but to often we look outside us, but this feeling of no longer being at the right place, this wondering if there is something else out there for us this is a sign of God too.
But to move on also comes along with the feelings we call fear and doubt.
It is funny in a way. The most static and static is not the proper word, the most common force is something we do not like - CHANGE. And the older we get in this bodies, the less we like it. Even if we are in a situation which is not so nice like a bad marriage, prison, sickness, poorness we do not like change. In psychology it is a known fact that many people rather suffer than change. And we also know the circumstance when we really want a betterment in what we are in at the present time.
We want change without changing.
Do you agree, that in a way it is strange. There is God saying "Come to me", but the moment we want to take action to follow ITS command, there is doubt and fear to hold us back. Why would God do this to us?
Is God not serious?
What if God is serious?

Do you know sheeps and goats? Two very similar animals and yet so different. A goat is curious looking around, even climbing trees, whereas a sheep has its head down grazing and basically following the sheep in front.
Let me ask you a question you probably dared to raise yourself.
"Why did God create you?" and "Why does IT put you through all this hardship?"
Eckankar states the we (Soul) exists because God loves us. I can imagine God as a crazy scientist, but in a way that does not fit the picture I like to have of my creator. So lets assume Eckankar is right.
So why does God put fear and doubt in our way if we WANT to follow this inner urge to go home to God.
You agree it holds us back, diba?
Did you ever watch a baby start to walk? Gravity makes is fall on its butt again and again, sometimes it falls on its face and gets hurt. But up to now I never heard of a baby that gave up learning to walk! We are like a baby on our way to God. Fear is the gravity that makes us fall again and again.

Sometimes we try to walk as a Catholic, some times as Buddhist, sometimes as Protestant and other times as Muslim. And again and again we land on our butt. After we tried it for a number of lifetimes as a Christian we may try Islam or Buddhism we reach a state where doubt makes us wonder if it is right to try to walk, but again this inner urge makes us want to stand up.

For me this inner urge in a way is the love of GOD or this force that wants us to be to "go home".
 I am an Eckist, because I follow this inner urge.  And in a way I am a goat looking around and even climbing trees. Am I not afraid,  you may ask?
I am!
But fear has made me so strong that I can win over it, or at least put it aside (for the time being).
What about doubts. Do I have doubts? I have every now and then, at least. But does it hold me back?
NO!
You see the gift of conquering fear is that you stop being rules by fear. Then and only then does fear become a choice!

"After earth" some thoughts about Scientology and conquering fear

Theatrical release

A few weeks I was watching a movie. I like to be early - not only in the movies- and could enjoy the trailers. There was one looking like a SiFi with Will Smith and his son. The only thing I remembered were great pictures and the sentence: "Danger is real - fear is a choice". In a country where fear is rampant, this is quite a statement.
I also like it from a personal point of view. Fear and his twin bother worry destroy lives or at least the joy of living. Actually I consider the "get rid of fears" as a primary spiritual task, if one want to return home to God. I know in the Bible it seems as if God wants sheeps, followers not asking, and for sure not rebellious. But if you look at the stories in the Bible, the actors oppose the leaders and Jesus himself was a rebel, a freedom fighter which by now would be called a terrorist. If ever you read the Bible, you might be able to distinguish  what God wants and what the church wants. I am sure God does not want fearful beings without the will to find their own way back to the heavens.
So I was really looking forwards to see this movie.
About a week before it was shown in the theaters here, to my surprise a discussion started that the film was carrying (secretly) the teachings of Scientology.
When I read the headline in the Spiegel, a German weekly news magazine, I found it stupid. As if conquering fear would be the sole job of Scientology. I admit this was a premature thought, because I had it before I had read the article.
Many years back I had attended two free weekend from Scientology and had made a test. I have to admit I never had any bad experience with them. But what they taught seemed not be a big advancement for me, so I let Scientology be.
It always seemed to me that letting others be is one of the first step on advancing spiritually. But the first step also might be the most scary. Scary - fear. Danger is real - fear is a choice
Be it a film to carry the messages from the Scientology or not, I was sure I would watch it.
And watch I did. After Earth was in the Theaters on Thursday and on Friday I was in the theater.

In short I was so disappointed. But to be honest I really liked the scenes when the cadet faced his fears and conquered it. As was shown in the movie, it is no a one time thing like loosing the virginity and then it is gone for good. Fear is like hunger, it comes again and again and has to be conquered daily.

The next day one of my text-friends texted me that she was watching the movie and really wanted more of it. But she is young and maybe she would like a "father" who gives advice and watches over her.
After Earth for me is not a great film. But maybe it is a film for you to start your spiritual journey by starting to conquer your fear. A film who makes you feel that you too can face your fears and conquer it.