Do you live in a happy, healthy relationship?

Do you live in a happy, healthy relationship?

Lucky you! The majority of us probably have arranged ourselves with our situation in cultures where we blindly follow our emotions or in cultures where the needs and the status of the family is a more important factor.

A word we do no use too often in western societies is the responsibility. My father was responsible enough to marry my mother after they found out that she was pregnant. But my father himself was an orphan and the role models in his life … I never asked him and now he is gone.

You probably have enough common knowledge that out parents are our main role models. In a way this is know in the bible:!...I am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the parents to the third and fourth generation…"  Often we look like our grandparents and behave like out parents - they are our role models.

Can I ask you? Did your parents sit down with you and explain how love works? If you were lucky you got a sexual education and you were told. "You do it when you love somebody". But you were not told how to love somebody. Maybe I am unjust. It is not so long ago that even in Germany marriages are arranged and in areas with a low density of population you take what you get better what is available. Some times when I drive through remote areas in the Philippines or in Africa and I see young girls playing along the roads I pity them for their limited options in education and in finding a suitable mate. I know where ever you are you can "Make Love Work". And if the area is not densely populated the temptation after marriage is not as demanding as in a big city or even in a squatter area. For us westerners - as the Chinese like to call us - love is the central theme in our lives. And often it does not stop when we get married but resurfaces after some years when we have paid the mortgage and the kids start to have their own families. And despite the fact that we can look back to 20 or more years of conscious living and a few years of conscious loving we know for us what worked and what did not. But most of us do not feel competent to hand a guideline to our children.

Should you not change that? If you are young you should learn how to operate or at least drive your love life and not be driven by it. And if you are in the second half of your live, it is never too late to learn or at least to understand what happened. Here is the link: Make Love Work by Eugen Grathwohl